Sue + Talk 4 • Okay: graduated, what now?

The last few days have been really hectic and stressful - the deadline of my dissertation was in sight. This is the research that I have been working on for 4 months and the very last commitment before I could receive my Master degree and wrap up my schooling.

Two days ago, I have handed in my dissertation, which I thought it would be a much bigger deal than I actually think. Right after I submitted it online at night and I still had the task of delivering the hard copies later at the same day, I felt so much emotions and tensions inside me. I felt like I needed to have a real good cry to relieve my stacked up emotions, but I couldn't. Maybe it would come later when I physically completed the submission through hard copies. I was expecting a big hit, but it is rather a slow relieve and numbness at the same time. I am not happy, nor sad.  Is this called the post-dissertation-symptoms? 

This moment is a bitter sweet moment for me. I am proud of myself and super happy that I am able to achieve everything up to my Masters degree, gain so much invaluable knowledge, skills and developed myself into a better person I was yesterday. 

However, every good thing has to come to an end and this is the bitter transition. I can't no longer stay at the 'comfortable' and stable place, but I need to move forward. And the only way of moving forward is to actually apply everything you have ever studied on, into the real world. In other words: you are going from a student to a graduate and finally a starter or an employee. You know, the 9-5 office jobs which brings much more responsibilities with, that requires my own identity. I can't hide no longer under my safe daddy's wings, instead I need fly myself. And this is scary. The unknown, the "real world", adults, routines, short-term goals, future plans, blue Mondays, happy Fridays, looking-forward-to-the-weekend-but-it passes so quickly and actually looking representative everyday when you show up at your desk? 

During my childhood and teenage years, I have been planning this all out: high school degree, bachelor's degree in marketing and eventually master's degree in marketing in the pocket. I can proudly check all these boxes just like I have it all planned out. Then..  Okay, I am graduated. Brilliant. But, what now?

Well, to give myself a clear answer and stop over-analysing: I need to get a job. Whether it's in a month, three months or a year, I need a job. And whether the unknown is scary, I still need to face it anyway. So, I will just relax for now and go with the flow. I am confident that I will slowly think: "Yeah, let's put my CV up", because I do care about my career that I have been planning and working so hard for. Everything will be fine!

Sorry about the rant, but it was something that I would like to get off my chest.

Take care x